Posted by: Laura A. H. Elliott | May 23, 2010

Answer: Mercury in Retrograde [Fact or Fiction?]*

Fact or Fiction? You decide. [*Note from the questioner: Not that I’m into should-haves, but this should have appeared last Sunday and didn’t as it was my birthday]

Mercury was in retrograde. I didn’t know it at the time or I never would have done what I did Friday night. Not only were the planets against me, my new friend Agatha told me so. She’s a little bizarre. Her name so horse-and-buggy and her look so ugly 80s. Srsly. Shoulder pads? She was the only one who knew why everything went to hell. The only one that made any sense. And that’s so me. Making fast friends with a horse-and-buggy Joan Jett fan when no one else would. I guess you flock to friends that are just like you. The ones you need. Full of contradictions, like me. I’m the least likely to be noticed by the guys I fall in love with. I’m big. Really big. Big-boned my mom always says. But, well, I’m especially big even where I don’t have any bones and to top that, I pulled a Britany before Britany pulled a Britany. I was bald. Yeah, I got mad one day. The day after it all went down. The day after I actually kissed my crush and found out he’s full of contradictions too. He’d be anything for a dare. Even my date. Took me a whole night to figure out Lena was his prize. And now I sit on Agatha’s bed wondering how I’ll ever go to school on Monday. How I’ll ever ask anyone to the Girls Reserve dance as big and bald and humiliated as any Sophomore in the history of Sophomores.

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